Originally published here at Her Campus on April 15, 2018
Do you ever sit and wonder why your expectations in life aren’t being met? Why your crush doesn’t stand outside of your window with a boombox at 3am to confess their love for you? Have you ever asked yourself where these expectations come from, and what shapes us ladies to think like this in the first place? A big part of it could be influenced from TV shows, especially ones on channels like Disney Channel and Nickelodeon that center around middle and early high school aged girls – ever thought to look back at one of them now?
We all know media influences us when we watch it a lot, and without realizing it, we may start to adopt these behaviors to our own lifestyles, which, when we’re still growing up, can have a major influence on who we become and what we expect of others.
Take for example the new show, Alexa & Katie on Netflix, which centers around two best friends going into high school, one of which is fighting cancer. But aside from the main plot of the show, I watched about 10 minutes before having to stop and reflecting on what young girls would be thinking when they watched this.
I remember being 14 – it wasn’t that long ago, but if I was watching this, I felt and believe I would have felt uncomfortable watching it even at that age. Not only were the main actors dolled up and extremely stylishly dressed, the way their interactions are portrayed to be humorous feed into the typical stereotypes of teenage girls. Forgetting how to speak and being overly awkward in front of your crush? Literally sitting in a pile of clothes and having “nothing to wear”? Ten minutes was enough but made me realize that most shows are like this because they appeal to what young girls want to be.
As a college student now, I feel like a mom looking back on shows targeting this age group, because I wouldn’t want my daughters to watch things like this. Being 14, I remember trying to figure myself out (I still am!) but shows like this that we all grew up watching made us feel like we had to grow up more quickly. These girls in Alexa & Katie met up with their friends in a coffee shop, and I know that’s something we wouldn’t have done in eighth grade.
At the same time, I’m old now, so maybe I don’t know what the kids are up to these days, but I do know that media influences like the TV shows they watch heavily influence girls growing up, especially that age, and often make it hard for us to figure out who we are (rather than who we’re trying to force ourselves to be).
I know this impacted me because I spent a lot of my time in high school being let down – why? I always thought it was because of movies and the books I read, but never considered that TV shows were just as harmful, if not more. I relied on my friends and cared for people far more than they cared for me, and expected way too much from them and especially from the guys I dated in high school. It took me four years to realize that this is not reality, but what about those who are still struggling with that mentality?
There has to be representation of the realities of being a middle school/early high schooler that doesn’t involve girls who look like they just stepped off the runway. There’s enough pushing young girls to grow up and conform to certain standards of “femininity” and behavior, when in this time especially, it’s important that we let them grow and bloom. Looking back, I know I would have preferred that, and more realistic shows and media are needed to help give girls their own identities rather than pushing what is “expected” on to them.
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